In case you've never read this post detailing my embarrassing moments, many of which involving me falling or tripping, I should let you in on a little not-so-secret.. I'm a klutz. I've gotten worse lately, and seriously, it has gotten out of control. I am constantly tripping, running into walls, falling up steps, or spilling stuff. Let me just describe this past Saturday morning to you, as an example of a pretty typical spazzy day in the life of Jessica.
Wake up. Try to pick up my phone off the night stand. Drop it on the floor. Try to grab it, almost fall out of bed, and knock over my earring holder, spilling all the earrings on the floor.
Fast forward. Drop a cereal box. Can't get my shoes on to take the dogs outside. Drop a dog leash while the dogs are attached.. twice.
Sit on the couch, get cold, Brian gets me a sweatshirt. Try to put it on, get it stuck on my head, my arm swings out, and BAM, mimosa spills everywhere. Literally. It was on my sweatshirt, the coffee table, the carpet, Schnitzel, the couch, both of our phones and both of our computers. Clean up ensues for 30 minutes.
Time to get ready. Don't feel like taking a shower. Get dressed. Fall over putting on my socks. Go into the bathroom. Drop my mascara on the floor a few times. Knock a candle and the soap into the sink. Dip my sleeve under the faucet while washing my hands. Try to shave my armpits while holding my sweater up, but my arm gets stuck, yanks free, and the razor scrapes across my nose, making three, yes, THREE, adorable cuts across the tip of my nose. Bleed for the next hour.
Go to the bagel shop. Try to put a napkin in the trashcan. Drop it on the floor. Try to put a stirrer in the trash can. Drop that on the floor too.
Okay, you get it at this point. I am a freaking MESS! And keep in mind, all of this happened before noon, and I'm actually a morning person. Also, I was a varsity athlete in high school, so it's not like I've been uncoordinated my whole life! Maybe I have a disorder, symptoms of which include having no balance and terrible hand-eye coordination. Any ideas? Have a happy