Thursday, February 20, 2014

Murphy's Law of Dogs


If you leash them up to go outside, they will get all tangled up because they each wanted to be on the opposite side of the hand you were holding their leash in, go figure.

If you are running late to go anywhere, they will puke, or poop, on the floor.

If you change their blankets and take your time to fold up nice fresh ones and put them down, they will dig at them and mess them all up, then puke on them.

If you've just finally fallen asleep after struggling to do so for hours, you will wake up moments later to, you guessed it, a dog puking. 


If you try for once to take them on a long walk by yourself (it's hard because of the leash tangling remember), you will wear flip flops and the grass will be wet and the dogs don't like wet grass so you try to drag them up a wet, grassy hill, all while sliding up it looking ridiculous in your flip flops. You get to the top of the hill and decide to head home, and on the way your dog poops in the middle of the road.

If you try to take them on a walk with your dad, you will get to the bottom of a very large hill and the dogs will refuse to go on, literally sit down and not walk anymore, and you and your dad will have to carry them back up said large hill and all the way back home, while laughing hysterically at how ridiculous you look. 

If you try for a second time to take them on a long walk by yourself, they will get to the middle of the road and not go any further because apparently the salt from the snow is hurting their cute little feet and you will have to turn around and try to carry them both, all while they are literally screeching because their feet hurt and you look like the worst dog mom in the world, when all you were trying to do was take them on a nice walk. Then they will come inside, and, yup, poop on the floor right in front of the door.

If you are wearing your cute new Toms with hearts on them for the second time, the dogs will poop on the floor, you will step in it, then you will accidentally clean your Toms with bleach cleaner, ruining your brand new Toms. 

The one time you leave your favorite moccasins by the front door, your dogs who never ever chew on anything, will chew them to pieces while you're at work. 

Most of these aren't exactly "Murphy's Law" things per se, but they all are things I never expected to happen haha. Dogs! Can't live with them, definitely can't live without them. 

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15 comments:

  1. Hah! This post made me laugh because it's so true! I've dealt with all of this at one point or another with my dogs.

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  2. Haha this is so true! My dog just ate my favorite pair of shoes, of course the one day I leave them out thinking we were pass the chewing phase!

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  3. Oh sweet goodness! It's been a long time since I've dealt with the pooping in the house thing--but it would never fail that if I was running a hair late I could SMELL from the upstairs that something was amiss downstairs. B used to get such bad diarrhea ALL over the carpet. I DO not miss those days. She also is the worst behaved on a leash ever. I'm the "before" girl in all those training videos where's she's literally dragging me every which way!

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  4. Noooo! Sad news about ruining new Toms!

    Even with all these things, I'm still SO excited to get a dog! Woo!

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  5. Hahaha it's kind of the same with cats! Ryan wants a puppy SO bad, but I don't want to deal with a dog by myself for the next year!

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  6. haha yup! The running late one, ALWAYS. Any time I'm running late, there's a Hawkeye disaster. Something to clean up, somehow she got injured, anything. Every time.

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  7. I love this post! You have my dog twins! I was just about to leave this morning when I noticed they'd gotten in the trash. Vinny was munching on an onion remnant (I hope it makes him barf! Serves him right!), Vandy was eating a paper towel, and Vern was standing to the side looking at me like "I told them it was a bad idea! I swear!" He didn't bother to apologize for pooping in my bedroom either. Same dog has also pee'd on my dad's shoes - twice; crapped in my ex-husband's shoe (I admit it, I laughed, ex was a jerk); crapped in the passenger seat of a truck; locked us OUT of that truck WHILE it was running then proceeded to lay down and nap; oh and is scared of everything. Even his own shadow. Not exaggerating at all there, he literally ran from his own shadow once.

    But they make life so much better, don't they?

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  8. Haha this is so funny. My mom ha our family dog so I just get to play with her whenever I visit and I don't have to deal with any poop :-P I do miss havibg a fluffy companion at all times though!

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  9. haha oh my gosh. this is why I refuse to walk the dogs by myself. they get tangled and then I don't have a free hand to pick up poop and then one poops again and I've run out of bags etc. they are the best/worst things ever ha.
    -- jackie - jade and oak

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  10. It's a good thing they're so damn cute, isn't it?! ;P

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  11. And just like that you're ready to have kids!!! They do all that fun stuff too!

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  12. Haha oh gosh! I don't have a dog, but my cat sure does things while we're gone that he doesn't do while we're home.

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  13. OMG This is SO me! I love this. Because those days when you just cannot catch a break are the worst!

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  14. How do they know when your running late?! They really do manage to poop, pee, or puke every time...without fail. It's a good thing they make up for it in snuggles haha

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  15. BUT LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE CUTE FACES! I think this is a reason I'm wary about adopting a pup, I'm not sure I'm ready for all that! Zuko is wayyyy easier to deal with!

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