Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Joys of Townhouse Living

And by "Joys" I mean "Nightmares". So Brian and I live in a townhome community, with lots and lots of row houses all grouped together in a relatively small area. These houses were all built recently (within the last 7 years) and are all privately owned. We love the house itself, as it is super nice, and the location of the house is great, at the back of the community on the end, but man, are the people around us ANNOYING. I never knew that living in a community like this was SO full of drama. I should have guessed, since there is a homeowners association but I mean dang, people, get a life


Let me give you a few examples:

--My next door neighbor (who is never home) has told us not once, not twice, but at minimum 3 times not to let our dogs poop in her yard (they NEVER EVER have, by the way). She even lied and reported us to the association and we got a letter in the mail. This is the same woman who Brian actually helped when she flooded her house because her bathtub overflowed and all the smoke detectors went off (sounds suspicious, I know). I could go on and on about this idiot, but I won't for your sake. 

-- The neighbors to across the street to our right are nosy. N-O-S-Y. When my little brother was having a lemonade stand at our house, the wife came over and told Mitchell he needed to be wearing a hat because it is sunny. Then I came outside and she told me that he should be wearing a hat. Umm who are you, the hat police? 

-- Her husband is just as bad. Mitchell was standing near this little fence that has rocks around it and he came out and told him not to throw or kick the rocks (he never touched a rock). This is the same man who I saw sweeping the street (yup) and who peeks out from behind his blinds all the time to spy on everybody (*news flash* we can see you).

--You cannot leave your trash can outside of the garage. Apparently it lowers house values (uhh what?!), according to residents who complain on our development's website. Our landlady got a letter for that before we moved in and so we have to keep the trash can in the garage which stinks up the whole basement. Now we buy expensive flushable dog poop bags because the smell was intolerable. 

Speaking of our development's website, here are some gems that have been written on it by residents:

-- Well apparently the trash pick-up people come at different times of day each week (the horror!) so this woman complained to the association, then wrote on the site that the trash company is known for "their deception and inconsistency!" 

-- Evidently the property management building is a bit, uh, unorthodox, because this was a complaint from someone who went in there: "Last time I was there a pregnant woman was breast feeding at the front desk with her boob hanging out and all" umm alrighty then.

-- "7:20 a.m., woman in black Saturn Vue turned left and ran to the stop sign in 3 seconds." No words.

-- There is a "rebel with a loud truck and other uncouth behavior" but apparently he and his "clan" have moved away, so don't worry guys.

-- Someone called 911 to rescue their iPod from the gutter, and a fire truck came..


-- Someone's dogs are barking "infernally" which is not relaxing duh, and apparently "delivering their morning speeches again, awakening the entire neighborhood." This is obviously not true, because I am part of the neighborhood and if I knew dogs were giving speeches I would've called the National Enquirer. But wait, the woman recorded the barking on video, so maybe I can pay her for it? I could make some serious dough on this! Man! She already called the police and gave them the "evidence." 

--Someone clipped their side mirror backing out of their garage. This is hard-hitting news. 

-- There was a 'suspicious' man leaning on the hood of a car, "peering" into a garage that had a broken door (it had fallen apart two days before, however that happens??). And the "peer-er" had an accomplice, say it isn't so!

-- I could go on and on forever, but I won't because someone invited the entire neighborhood out to lunch (how is that even possible, there are over 100 houses!), and I need to go because obviously these are people I would love to hang out with.

Needless to say when I have a job we are so buying a house away from here and I cannot wait!! 

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  1. Oh my gosh...I feel you on this! I live in a townhome community as well. You've already read about my neighbors! Ha ha.

    People are just insane. Like, if you knowingly live that close to someone, you would think they would realize that things are going to be perfect all of the time. I just don't understand rude neighbors at all!

    Hopefully you guys will be able to get out and find a house of your own soon!

  2. Wow! That is serious neighbor drama. I'm glad no one in my apartment complex has been that bad yet.

  3. This just made me LOL. People never cease to amaze me.

  4. Look at the positive, if there are 100 houses maybe you will find and bond with the one other person besides yourself in the community who isn't bat crap crazy!

    I love the stuff people post on your community web sit, I'm thinking you could make a monthly post series out of that stuff!

  5. hahahha love all those and that post!

  6. holy funny stories!!!

    this is RI-DIC-CU-LOUS!!!!!!!!!

    i live in a townhome and we also have the "garbage rule inside the garage" HELLO ITS CALLED GARBAGE FOR A REASON. WHY MUST IT BE INSIDE!!

    our neighbors aren't as bad as yours, but i have seen one lady run out from her house the moment my husband drove away from the street parking so she could move hers closer to the house!

  7. These are hilarious! Hate to say it but all neighborhoods have these people. We had someone call our house to tell us that we were ruining the neighborhood. They never said why and we never figured out what we did that was so offensive. We also get a letter about once a year that our grass has gotten too high. Bitches be crazy.

  8. OMG this is my life story!!! what a great post!

  9. Ugh that sounds horrible!! We live in an apartment...and ONCE we left a bag of trash outside our door for like an hour, and ended up with a note from our neighbor telling us how disgusting we are and that we needed to grow up and not behave like children.

    Coming from the woman who used the end of our hallway as her personal closet. SO glad she has moved!

  10. Oh my gosh. Are we still in high school? All that sounds like high school drama for freshmen.

  11. Hahaha, oh my gosh. That is exactly why I never want to live in a neighborhood like that. And your gifs are so perfect! You know what else is rough, though? Sharing a driveway with your neighbors. AW-FUL.

  12. Wow, that's a lot of whackadoo neighbors.

  13. These people are crazy! They have far too much time on their hands. My HOA hates garbage cans outside the garage, too, so they complained. My husband sent a nasty letter back saying that when people stopped parking in their front yards, we would stop leaving the cans out. Haven't bothered us since!


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