Soooo all that being said, life has been pretty tough lately, to be honest, which is half of the reason I haven't been to my blog as often as I might like (the other half? I have been so busy!!). Some of the things making it tough are not my stories to share, but if you are the praying kind, or the cross your fingers and toes kind (I am both), please do a little of that for us if you have a moment to spare. Some of the things making life more difficult lately are things out of my control, like the mysterious stuff I just referenced and a medical issue, and some are in my control, yet I don't even know how to start herding these cats (watch my Dad's favorite commercial below to understand my reference.. hey, it's Father's Day after all).
As for the medical issue that is out of my control, even though I am trying to be honest and open on this blog, I also don't want to over-share. So in the spirit of semi-disclosure, basically I have to have a minor surgery soon, one that I had to have 3 years ago, and now I have to have it again. Needless to say I am not happy about it AT ALL, but I hope to be happier about it when it is all said and done and I feel at least somewhat better than I have the past few months. Feeling like crap all the time is draining, but then again, so is anxiety, and I've been fighting that demon for years. I pretty much use up all the energy I do have working all day (slash crying in the bathroom), so when I come home I have the functionality of a sloth. I lay around, watching TV and feeling nauseous. Fun fun, and great for losing weight (I hope you can sense the sarcasm here). Part of the anxiety is in my control, as no one else but me placed me into my current situation, but part of it God gave me for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom.
This post may have made no sense, or maybe it did, who knows? I try not to be a Debbie Downer though (does anyone else feel bad for people named Debbie? I mean, it's a nice name and all but I feel like they probably get called Debbie Downer a disproportionate number of times in their lives.. just sayin'). I am lucky enough to have a lot of good things in my life too, like the porch rails Brian's dad just installed for us, upcoming trips, and booking a wedding venue and amazing and talented photographers this weekend (both which I will talk about soon in a more upbeat post). So why oh why can't I solely focus on the good things in my life, instead of dwelling on the negative? That is a rhetorical question to ponder, I suppose.