Sh*t Taylor Says

Remember Taylor? My 17 year old sister who always has something funny or snarky to say? I've shared a lot of her antics here before (like this buck tooth beaver story, and this quote: "Why don't adults just wear diapers so we don't have to have toilets anymore? It'd save a lot of money."). Well I've been secretly checking out her twitter and the things she tweets are HILARIOUS! So I figured I'd share them with you, even though she'd kill me if she found out. Oh well, I'll take the risk.

"Wearing a one piece bathing suit today will be the death of me,"

She was lifeguarding at the local pool for the weekend and apparently it was torture,

"The Sirius radio subscription in my car ran out and my parents 'aren't wasting money' on it, so idk what to do with myself now honestly."

So sad, except Taylor doesn't have a car, nor does she have her driver's license yet! She's talking about my dad's car and wow, not having satellite radio in Dad's car is just life-altering, especially considering you have an iPhone!

"A guy asked for my number at the Revs game and I lied and said I had a bf and Mitch said 'no you don't!' Needless to say Mitch is now dead."

Yea this even didn't happen!

"Dad just tried to have a nice convo with me about how casual sex with people you don't love is not a way to live & should I laugh or cry idk"

I would have died!! Dad and Taylor went to NJ for a nice weekend of Broadway shows and the beach and visiting with family, and I guess on the way home Dad decided to take advantage of the fact that she couldn't go anywhere and have a talk. Bahahaha poor Taylor.

"Don't lick your ice cream cone then post a pic of it, it looks like an actual piece of shit."

Umm wow I wish I could have seen that ice cream cone.

"My sister just threw my entire ice cream sundae out the car window and idk whether to cry or turn back around and eat that shit off the road."

This happened in May in NJ, the girls were in the car following Brian and I and we didn't even know this happened. I'm not sure the exact details, but I know there was a fight and one ice cream sundae got thrown out the window and one ice cream cone got thrown in someone's hair.

"I just lost to Eric but it's okay bc he tripped while cheering and smacked his face on the floor... who's the real winner here :-) :-) :-)"

Well I guess Eric got what he deserved. Whoever Eric is.

"A real savage is a girl that post a pic of her and her friend that she looks bomb in while the friend looks like straight ass."

I almost couldn't figure out what this tweet meant, I'm getting so old.

"It became clear that my life's a joke when someone commented 'lmao' on a selfie I just posted."

haha awkward

"When my bra and underwear are matching I honestly feel like the baddest bitch out there."

And on that note, I'll end this post, though there are definitely SO many more. One note, Taylor doesn't like ever use curse words in real life, but apparently on twitter she has to do it for street cred, haha! Do your siblings ever post anything funny online?

Have a great weekend everyone! And never forget; here's my 9/11 memories post, we will NEVER forget.