September Goals

I think it's about time I get back to making monthly goals. I figure at least if I post them here I have a little bit better chance of actually accomplishing them.

1. Get serious about weight loss. I really need to lose a lot of weight before my wedding next year, and trying on wedding dresses this past weekend was definitely a wake-up call. I made a weight loss chart for myself so I can cross off each pound that I lose, and I am giving myself rewards along the way if I reach certain goals in time. Brian and I are planning to rejoin LA Fitness this month, and we have been planning our meals for the week so that we go out to eat less, so I really want to keep this up. Also, I want to take the dogs on long walks at least 4-5x a week.

2. See a travel agent about our honeymoon. We really don't know where we want to go and a travel agent is probably the best place to start.

3. Stick to our monthly budget better. I just love shopping, but I also love wedding planning and I need to remember if we are going to be able to afford a wedding I need to stick to our budget! I have been slowly buying wedding things, which is actually a good thing because doing so slowly will prevent a big budget hit all at once.

Adios August

Is anyone else super pumped that it's September? I am so glad the summer is on it's way out. Sorry but I just hate summer clothes and I hate heat and even though it has mainly been in the 70s and low 80s here all summer, I am just ready to hello to high temps in the 50s! I prepped by buying myself some new jeans, gold ballet flats, a shirt, and a Sunday Funday sweatshirt at Old Navy, and I bought my soon-to-be nephew a cute shirt that says my aunt rocks with guitars on it (I can't stop buying baby clothes, they are so stinking cute!). My mom and I also made these cute burlap banners this weekend, though don't worry, I won't put it up until the end of September, no matter how much I want to!

Hmm what else did I do this weekend? Well I went to dinner with my parents on Friday, went to Hobby Lobby and also tried on wedding dresses(!!!), cleaned, planned for my sister's baby shower, did tons of wedding planning, did 'getting a new job' stuff, grocery shopped, and watched so much TV. I must say I am disappointed with Lifetime's movie selection this weekend, especially on Labor Day. I mean really, there were like none on, ugh! Anyways, let's try to get through this week quickly! I am going to the beach Friday :-) P.S. Is anyone else excited for 19 Kids and Counting tonight?! No? Fine.

The Rings of My Nightmares

As you may know, Brian and I have been together for over four and a half years, and we've been living together for two now, so back before we got engaged in May I knew it would be coming any time. So of course, the ring nightmares started at least a year ago. Girls, seriously, tell me you've had them? After each one I'd wake up in a panic and check my hand and be like "whew! dodged a bullet there" (also, that was the only time you'd catch me being relieved that I wasn't engaged haha). Anyway, I figured I'd share my top three worst ring nightmares today.

1. The Yellow Ring- The stone in the ring in this dream was yellow, like bright yellow. Not pretty, not pretty at all. But in my dreams apparently I am super sweet and "said yes" regardless of the ring, and even told Brian that I loved it. Barf! I've also dreamed about getting purple rings, and I think red.

2. The Plastic Super Bowl Ring- This one was so huge that when I wore it I couldn't even bend my finger, and it basically looked like a huge super bowl ring but it was plastic and had a green stone in it. Again, I told him I loved it!

3. The Convertible Ring/Watch- Alright I remember much more detail about this dream than the others. We were in some weird house and Brian was insistent upon making me waffles. So I was laying in bed, which was basically right outside of the kitchen (it's a dream, so it doesn't make sense, remember?) watching him make waffles. So he brings me two chocolate dipped waffles (weird) and insists I eat them. Okayyyy, so I took a bite and felt something so I looked and there was my ring! He was SO FREAKING EXCITED about the ring he picked out, and meanwhile I was mortified. Basically it was a gray rubber ring with a green plastic-looking "stone" on top, but when I put it on Brian was like "it's so awesome, look what it can do!" and he stretched the ring out and it became a watch to wear on your wrist. I remember thinking OMG seriously this is the worst, but I have to pretend to love it so I don't hurt his feelings. We went and told family in this dream too and I had to fake liking it for them so that they wouldn't think Brian was a freaking weirdo for picking out such an atrocious ring! I even told them it's exactly what I wanted and that I asked him to get me a ring just like that. Dream Jessica is wayyyyy nicer than Real Jessica, because Real Jessica would have told him what was up!!

I know I had more bad ring dreams besides these, but these are the ones that stick out in my mind! Luckily Brian came through and picked out my gorgeous ring which I love! Engaged/married ladies, what rings did you have nightmares about?

And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies

This is the story of a girl*, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, who did very well in school, so naturally college was a given. She never had any idea what she wanted to do with her life (except when she was in elementary school and wanted to be an obstetrician... until she found out blood was involved), so she flip-flopped around with different majors, starting with business, going to undeclared, and finally picking psychology because she had somewhat of an interest in it and figured it was a versatile enough major so that she'd have a variety of options for grad school. Oh and yes, grad school was pretty much also a given for this girl.. why? Probably because she didn't like any of the 4-year majors, like engineering or teaching, that she could get a job in straight out of college. 

So at first she thought she wanted to go to grad school for Occupational Therapy, then Speech and Language Pathology, then Audiology. Then she wanted to get her PhD or PsyD and become a psychologist. Then, out of the deepest, darkest, naviest blue (if you know who said that quote the she will love you forever) the girl decided to take the LSAT. Why? She really couldn't tell you. Everyone is always so focused on the future and making teenagers pick lifetime careers before they can even drink legally, and she was confused but figured it was an option. Well, the girl did very well, applied to law school, got in and got a scholarship, and off she went to law school.

Well you may be able to guess what happened next: the girl hated it from the first day of orientation. She debated quitting, but decided to stick it out through the first semester and see how she did. Well of course, being book smart as she was (common sense? Well that's another story), she did very well and decided to stick it out because she didn't want to let anyone down and knew there was nothing else she wanted to do so she just told herself "self, you must be good at law, so just deal with it. Maybe you'll grow to love it." 

She threw herself into trying to love law school, got on the Board of an Honor Society, graduated cum laude, and, surprise surprise, still didn't feel a passion for the law whatsoever. "But I must be good at it!" she told herself. Well who the eff cares. The girl is good at getting fat, but that doesn't mean she should be a food taster for a living! 

The girl took the bar exam and waited for the results, and finally felt like she had an out; if she failed it was okay because it meant career in law wasn't meant to be, and she could move on to something else, no harm no foul (well, besides the $$ but that could be overlooked if she could be legitimately happy). But she passed, and a month later got a job. A job that on paper looks amazing and is everything an aspiring lawyer should want and love. She told herself how lucky she was and not to be selfish, and tricked herself into thinking that practicing law would be different than law school.

Well practicing law is so.much.different than law school (one learns nothing actually useful for practicing law while in law school), but not enough for the girl. This is a girl who always did her best schoolwork at home, alone, and she is now working in a high stress environment with lots of people.. not ideal. So now the girl is a practicing attorney and asks herself every day, "self, what in the h-e-double hockey sticks were you thinking?" But see once she got the ball rolling she couldn't stop it. It was like a tornado spiraling out of control. And after reading this story, you can kinda see how that could happen, right?

She doesn't hate law, in fact, she actually likes many aspects of it, like researching, writing, and editing, but she knows her future does not involve being an attorney in private practice and engaging in litigation. She knows people will be shocked if she quits, and she can live with paying for her mistake, the law school debt, but she cannot see herself being a practicing lawyer for the rest of her life. 

So after lots of discussion and tears, that girl put in her two weeks notice at her job today. Her bosses were very understanding and the whole thing went way better than she could have imagined (picture her pacing back and forth 87 times in her office trying to work up the courage to rip off the proverbial bandaid). While some people around her may be disappointed, in the end it's her life and she needs to be happy. She is working on getting some legal freelancing positions and she has a good idea of what path she'd like her career to go. It is going to be hard? Yes. Is it the ideal time, with being a new homeowner and planning a wedding? No, but when is it ever a good time? She isn't sure what the future holds, but already her heart hurts a little less and her spirit is a little lighter.

*sorry for writing in the third person, it was easier to write about this topic that way

Birthday Weekend Recap

Thanks so much everybody for all the birthday wishes, I can't believe I'm 26. Like seriously, I am definitely going to forget that because I always think I'm 24. The weekend obviously went by way too fast, and I only took like 3 pics, so sorry about that. On Friday night my mom and I went out to dinner and to JoAnns to get some supplies for burlap banners we want to make. Saturday morning I went to Target and got myself a new cute purse (they have tons!), then my sister took me out to brunch at one of my favorite places. I didn't even eat half of that breakfast burrito, and I think I took 2 forkfuls of potatoes, it was so good but so filling!!

Saturday evening was spent at my parents' for dinner, cake, and presents. You know you're getting old when you are super excited you got a hardwood floor cleaner, mandolin slicer, and a pillow with arms, among lots of other cool stuff. Also, did you guys see my cake on Instagram?! My sister spent like 6 hours on Saturday making this Olaf cake, how awesome is that? I was super excited!

Brian got home laaaate Saturday night. Sunday we went to breakfast, picked up color swatches at David's Bridal, ran into Ulta, hung around the house, then went out to a nice dinner. All in all it was a pretty great weekend. Now it's Monday, boo, and I am pretty nervous about something going on today (more details later this week) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

My 26th Birthday Wish List

Sooo I'm going to be 26 tomorrow, ahh! I am officially on the wrong side of 25. Instead of bombarding you with cute old pics of myself from my childhood (I did that last year, here ya go), I decided to share some of my birthday wishlist with you. I'm not a brat, I swear, my mom specifically asked me to make one so she and my siblings had ideas for what to get me.

1. A new front license plate for my car. Mine is a Wizard of Oz one right now but it's all rusted and faded so it's time for a new one (maybe something like this, idk I'm not too picky).

2. Amazon gift cards so I can buy all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books (what? Don't judge me...)

3. A lap desk thingy for when I'm being lazy on the couch.

4. A mandoline slicer so we can chop tomatoes and onions quicker/easier.

5. Gift card to Home Goods because duh, I love that place.

6. This front porch light to replace our brassy/gold one.

7. One of these pillows, I don't care where from, they look so comfy.

8. These Toms!

Okay so obviously I'm pretty boring/an 80 year old woman, but oh well, what can I say? Anything else awesome I should be asking for? Btw I am still so bummed that Brian's meanie boss made him go to freaking Texas today and all day tomorrow (ON MY BIRTHDAY). Anyway, have a good weekend

Guess what day it is?

Guess.What.Day.It.IS? Yup, time for Hump Day Confessions with Kathy.

1. I'm super sad that Pretty Little Liars is having its summer finale next week.. c'mon man, I can't handle the suspense.

2. After my friend's wedding ceremony on Saturday, the wedding party had to go take pics all over the city. Well, the weather was super nice, but that doesn't mean I didn't sweat like crazy. Well since Brian was back at the hotel still until the reception, I asked him to bring me deodorant to the reception, which isn't weird, but I also asked him to bring me a spare pair of undies. I crumbled them up in a ball, tucked them inside the Spanx that I took off for the reception (ain't nobody got time for that), and hid them behind the ice bucket in the bridal suite of the reception venue. Nobody ever said I was classy!

3. Speaking of Spanx, I am never wearing that crap again. They are hot, uncomfortable, and make it impossible to use the bathroom. I really need to lose weight so I never have to use them again. As soon as the next month of madness is over Bri and I are rejoining the gym and it's serious business. I need to lose SO MUCH WEIGHT before our wedding, which is now less than 14 months away!!!

4. If the little stem is left on grapes or pieces of leaves are left on cut-up strawberries, I can't eat them. Idk, it just grosses me out.

5. I feel like I can't catch a break lately. I have another infection stemming from all the complications with my surgery/post op problems Got more antibiotics, yay. Oh and I'd like to thank the antibiotics for the awful side effects I've had for 3 weeks now. I left work early yesterday because I felt like death, and I can tell they're getting pissed but what can I do? Oh and I never decided what I want to do for my birthday on Saturday (not that I can do much anyways because I feel like shit) but now it doesn't really matter. A big eff you goes out to Brian's boss for forcing him to go to Texas all weekend, even though weeks ago Brian told him he couldn't go because Saturday is my birthday. And we can't celebrate next weekend either because he's going out of town again for 5 days. I feel like I've had a dark cloud over my head for the past 6 weeks and everything that can go wrong does. Will my world ever brighten up? Grrr

6. Okay and this really isn't a confession, but I just want to share my thoughts about the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. I don't get why people are hating on it. Anything that raises awareness and $$$ for a worthy cause is alright in my book. The ALS Association has received tons more donations compared to this same time period last year. I'd say that pouring ice on people's heads has certainly inspired giving among the masses, wouldn't you? I mean, I'm pretty sure that a greater than 1000% increase in charitable giving is a good thing. Whatever works, I say. And about it being "slacktivism?" How do you know that the people dumping water on their heads aren't donating too? I mean, have you asked them all? To assume that everyone who is dumping water on their heads isn't donating money is an incorrect and irresponsible blanket statement. Also, maybe some people can't afford to donate but still want to spread the message so people with means can donate. Oh and don't give me that crap about it being a waste of water. First of all, it's not that much water. Second, seriously guys, more water is probably wasted taking those long baths bloggers are always raving about, and no one's raising money taking a bath now are they? Nope. If you don't want to participate, then just don't! If you don't want to see the videos, then just don't watch them! If you want to donate to another charity, just do it! No one is stopping you, but making people feel bad about doing what they believe is for good is not nice. #endrant