Wednesday, December 11, 2013

You get hit in the head with a brick, you die.

So one of my very few bad qualities is that I always expect movies to be more realistic than they are. I expect them to be completely true to life, no matter how silly the plot line. Here are just some of my favorite Christmas movies and the bones I have to pick with them (not including the best Christmas movie of all time, The Christmas Story.. that movie has NO flaws):

Elf. I LOVE this movie, don't get me wrong. From the line "Son of a Nutcracker" to Buddy giving his Dad lingerie for Christmas to the snowball fight in the park, I love this movie. But what I always wonder is, if the elves at Santa's workshop can build so many great toys, can't they at least build Buddy a bigger bed? C'mon, the guy's already a human orphan who eats gum off railings in the North Pole, hasn't he already got it hard enough without having to use a teensy tiny toilet? I digress.


Home Alone. Hands down one of the best movies of all time, in ANY genre. How unrealistic is this movie though? I mean in real life, you get electrocuted, you die. You get hit in the head with a brick from 3 stories up, you die. You stick your burning head in a toilet full of kerosene, you die. You do all of those, plus about 50 more gruesome things, you always die. Get my point? haha not that it isn't hilarious (and cringeworthy) watching the bad guys get it. 


Miracle on 34th Street. Just sayin, most Moms don't leave their daughters with random strangers to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. P.S. The 1947 version of the movie is the best one, don't even try to convince me otherwise. 


Jingle All the Way. So after Howard's wife Liz and creepy neighbor Ted find Howard in Ted's house stealing presents, they just shrug their shoulders and head off to the Christmas parade? Yea, I don't think so.. in real life cops would be called or there'd be a throwdown, probably both. 

The Santa Clause. I am super duper in love with this movie (is it okay to love a movie?) but what I don't get is WHY Charlie's mom and husband Neil are so effing upset about a 7 year old believing in Santa? That is NOT abnormal, I was 15 10 when I stopped believing. Plus, I think it's super creative and not bothersome at all the way Charlie set up the chairs in his bedroom to be like reindeer and a sleigh. Sorry NEIL, but can we just let kids be kids, please?! Also, I think a doctor would be a lot more concerned than Scott's was about him gaining 45 pounds IN A WEEK! I mean, wouldn't he at least order some bloodwork?


These definitely aren't all of the unbelievable parts from Christmas movies, but it's all I can think of at the moment. What other ridiculous scenes from holiday movies do you find hard to believe? Linking up with Chelsee and Christine!

P.S. Did you meet Kenny Angel yesterday?

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25 comments:

  1. Neil and Mom need to cool their jets, obvi.
    But I so agree, I expect way more out of movies. Stupid expectations.

    › xo fal • falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

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  2. hahahaha I love this. I want to watch all of these movies right now...even though I may or may not have watched some of them within the last couple of weeks. :)

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  3. Yay, another Christmas Story lover! I keep using the Fra-gee-lay line on my coworkers and it's lost on them. Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie! Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.... I could keep going...

    Also, I have an awful memory for movies unless I have seen them a million times so I will take your word on all of this!

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  4. Haha movies definitely take some liberties with real life.

    As much as I love Holiday in Handcuffs it's utterly unbelievable at the beginning. Even though she tells her parents that the guy likes to pretend he's been kidnapped, parents would still get worried about just what was going on if the "new boyfriend" kept insisting he's been kidnapped. I mean really, the fact that they didn't even inquire about his mental health is just weird...

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  5. I seriously love every single one of these! Great list! Thanks so much for linking up!

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  6. I watched the Santa Clause with my dad (a doctor) and he was all mad about that too. "They'd admit him to the hospital! That's crazy! That doctor sucks!"

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  7. bahahahah I will never watch these movies the same again :( but I couldn't agree more annnnnd Miracle on 34th St that is the ABSOLUTE best one!!!!

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  8. Elf and Home Alone are on my list too! and so is Jingle all the Way as an honorable mention. great picks!

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  9. I've never watched The Christmas Story from beginning to end, sorry don't hate me! I don't even know why, it's not like they don't play it for 24 hours Christmas day. I love all the other movies you listed, even if they are just totally unrealistic.

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  10. I love these movies!!! It is the magic of Christmas that allows all these things to happen ;)

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  11. HAHAHA omg I love this. yes! so accurate. i do the same thing too!

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  12. I'd also like to point out that in real life, when you admit to official personnel that you've flown off and forgotten your child at home, well, somebody's going to call DCF on you.

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  13. Love this post. I am totally the same way, though I LOVE Christmas movies! The Polar Express...in the middle of a neighborhood...and the only one to wake up was that boy? COME ON. And the train skidding across a lakebed full of ice and it magically lands on the tracks...hmm. I agree with the Elizabeth above about Holiday In Handcuffs, while I love the movie, parents should really question their child if their "boyfriend" keeps insisting on being kidnapped. I might do a part 2 to this as I have quite a few bones to pick as well! ;) Haha

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  14. Christmas movies do tend to be of the most unrealistic type! We were watching a made-for-tv one recently and my whole family was yelling at the television. Although, Neil is pretty uptight and weird so I can imagine him being bothered by Charlie believing in Santa...and maybe Neil brainwashed the mom.... :P

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  15. Hahahaha YES on The Santa Clause. WHY was the doctor not concerned?? And WHY was Neil such a brat about believing in Santa.. But it's still one of my absolute favorites!

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  16. One thing I've always thought was that in Home Alone, the Police would have done more to find Kevin. They wouldn't just knock on the door and then walk away. Social services would have gotten involved if it was real life.

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  17. hahaha great post! now i just wanna leave work and watch christmas movies (like i have been doing every night this week)!

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  18. The Santa Claus - I completely forgot about this movie!! So good :)

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  19. These are hysterical. I love watching movies and making snarky comments - "Okay. THAT really happened. So realistic." Adds to the whole experience! :)

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  20. Great movies! I get that way with movies sometimes too lol.

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  21. Hahah. I love this. When I first read you saying movies were unrealistic, I thought you were talking about the "happily ever after" of most of them. (I think I'm in a cynical mood lately lol.)

    I also just read this really sappy, unrealistically happy book the other day and I was like whatttt? This would never happen. So maybe that also made me think that. Or maybe I'm just jealous of a fictional character who has it all :-P

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  22. What a great post!! & I totally agree, especially with the Santa Clause movie! My son is 10 and still genuinely believes in Santa. Who am I to tell him otherwise?!!!

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  23. Home Alone is IT! As soon as I saw that I was like, sorry whatever movies come after this because that is one tough act to follow!

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  24. This post is just great! Hilarious!! I think it's awesome that you chose to find the questionable things in the favorite Christmas movies. But if you were to say one of those while I watched my super cheesy movie you would not be welcome beside me :)

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  25. Love these! You have great choices. I remember seeing the Santa Claus in the movie theater when I was a kid. Thanks for linking up with us! Come back next week :)

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